"Thankyou for the offer, but when the time comes I must limit myself to gently tapping the sword on Mr Rushdie's shoulder."
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Oh this is rich...
"Thankyou for the offer, but when the time comes I must limit myself to gently tapping the sword on Mr Rushdie's shoulder."
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
And the answers...
I didn't bother with Questions 1 and 2, age and gender...
If you got those wrong, a lack of knowledge of Canadianisms is the least of your problems.
Here are the correct choices.
3. It's cold outside and you need something to keep your head warm, you reach for a...
beret
skull cap
toque
scarf
*A "toque" (pronounced "Took" - Think "moo", not "look".) is a knitted winter cap, usually with a pompom on top.
4. Pick me up a bag of homo milk means...
You're a little light in the loafers and like your milk the same way.
You wish for someone to bring home 4 litres of homogenized milk.
This is slang for bring home a male prostitute
You are really confused and should be in a padded room
*If you thought the answer was anything else, you didn't get enough milk as a child.
5. This treat used to make a great whistle when the box was empty...
Smarties
Hubba Bubba
Kraft Dinner
Gobstoppers
*Smarties are a candy (Think M&M's with thicker but slightly softer candy shells) that comes in a box. We used to drive our parents crazy after we ate them by using the boxes like kazoos.
6. In your junk drawer you will most likely find an assortment of ...
multi-vitamins
whitney houston cd's
shotgun shells
canadian tire money
*Canadian Tire is THE Canadian hardware/tool/automotive store. They give coupons that look like cash in 3,5,10,25 cent and up denominations whenever you pay cash for a purchase. Every Canadian household has a roll of Canadian Tire money in a drawer somewhere. Hell, I have a Canadian Tire MasterCard that has a separate "Candian Tire Money" balance. My Mom gave me the cash to buy a bbq as a housewarming gift 3 years ago and I bought ALL the accessories with the Canadian Tire money balance I had on the card at the time.
7. The day after Christmas you won't be called back to work, you will be enjoying the great...
leftover eggnog
skis that aunt sally gave you
Boxing Day Sales
hangover from the festivities
*Doesn't the States have Boxing Day sales?
8. When you say, "I have to go pay my hydro bill" you mean...
You are going to use the Washroom
You are going to pay your water bill
You are going to pay your electric bill
You are going to take off and never be seen again
*A good portion of our electricity is generated by "hydro-electric" dams at places like Niagara Falls. We call the electric company the "Hydro Company". Oddly, most of us get our water bill from the same outfit, but that's not why we call it the "Hydro" bill.
9. You need a new dress for your sisters wedding, you will go buy it at...
The Bay
The A & P
Canadian Tire
The Avondale
*The Bay or "The Hudson's Bay Company" is the store that sells everything that Canadian Tire doesn't carry. Clothes, Shoes, TV's, Fine China...
10. You are feeling under the weather, you caught a cold. You will take some of this to feel better...
Buckley's
Mr. Pibb
McIntosh toffee
Hall's
*Buckley's Mixture is the WORST tasting (Imagine brushing your teeth and then drinking orange juice, combined with a healthy dose of Pine-Sol and you've got the idea) cough syrop on the market. Tons of folks swear by it though.
11. You are hungry and want pizza, you're going to call...
Pizza Pizza
Tim Horton's
Swiss Chalet
Harvey's
*While the other three are Iconic Canadian Eateries, um...duh?
12. You just found two toonies whatcha going to do?
Rub them together and see if they multiply
Throw them out the car window before they stink it up
Buy a pack of smokes
Got to timmy's and get a large coffee and 20 timbits
*A toonie is a $2 coin and the only thing to do with $4 is go to Tim Horton's for coffee and Timbits. Timbits=Doughnut holes. Tim Horton's is THE Canadian coffee and doughnut shop. We don't "go for coffee". We "go to Timmy's".
**Half marks if you picked the smokes. At least you realized it was money, but a pack of smokes'll run you about $8-9 not $4.
Feel free to try again with your newfound knowledge.
If you got those wrong, a lack of knowledge of Canadianisms is the least of your problems.
Here are the correct choices.
3. It's cold outside and you need something to keep your head warm, you reach for a...
beret
skull cap
toque
scarf
*A "toque" (pronounced "Took" - Think "moo", not "look".) is a knitted winter cap, usually with a pompom on top.
4. Pick me up a bag of homo milk means...
You're a little light in the loafers and like your milk the same way.
You wish for someone to bring home 4 litres of homogenized milk.
This is slang for bring home a male prostitute
You are really confused and should be in a padded room
*If you thought the answer was anything else, you didn't get enough milk as a child.
5. This treat used to make a great whistle when the box was empty...
Smarties
Hubba Bubba
Kraft Dinner
Gobstoppers
*Smarties are a candy (Think M&M's with thicker but slightly softer candy shells) that comes in a box. We used to drive our parents crazy after we ate them by using the boxes like kazoos.
6. In your junk drawer you will most likely find an assortment of ...
multi-vitamins
whitney houston cd's
shotgun shells
canadian tire money
*Canadian Tire is THE Canadian hardware/tool/automotive store. They give coupons that look like cash in 3,5,10,25 cent and up denominations whenever you pay cash for a purchase. Every Canadian household has a roll of Canadian Tire money in a drawer somewhere. Hell, I have a Canadian Tire MasterCard that has a separate "Candian Tire Money" balance. My Mom gave me the cash to buy a bbq as a housewarming gift 3 years ago and I bought ALL the accessories with the Canadian Tire money balance I had on the card at the time.
7. The day after Christmas you won't be called back to work, you will be enjoying the great...
leftover eggnog
skis that aunt sally gave you
Boxing Day Sales
hangover from the festivities
*Doesn't the States have Boxing Day sales?
8. When you say, "I have to go pay my hydro bill" you mean...
You are going to use the Washroom
You are going to pay your water bill
You are going to pay your electric bill
You are going to take off and never be seen again
*A good portion of our electricity is generated by "hydro-electric" dams at places like Niagara Falls. We call the electric company the "Hydro Company". Oddly, most of us get our water bill from the same outfit, but that's not why we call it the "Hydro" bill.
9. You need a new dress for your sisters wedding, you will go buy it at...
The Bay
The A & P
Canadian Tire
The Avondale
*The Bay or "The Hudson's Bay Company" is the store that sells everything that Canadian Tire doesn't carry. Clothes, Shoes, TV's, Fine China...
10. You are feeling under the weather, you caught a cold. You will take some of this to feel better...
Buckley's
Mr. Pibb
McIntosh toffee
Hall's
*Buckley's Mixture is the WORST tasting (Imagine brushing your teeth and then drinking orange juice, combined with a healthy dose of Pine-Sol and you've got the idea) cough syrop on the market. Tons of folks swear by it though.
11. You are hungry and want pizza, you're going to call...
Pizza Pizza
Tim Horton's
Swiss Chalet
Harvey's
*While the other three are Iconic Canadian Eateries, um...duh?
12. You just found two toonies whatcha going to do?
Rub them together and see if they multiply
Throw them out the car window before they stink it up
Buy a pack of smokes
Got to timmy's and get a large coffee and 20 timbits
*A toonie is a $2 coin and the only thing to do with $4 is go to Tim Horton's for coffee and Timbits. Timbits=Doughnut holes. Tim Horton's is THE Canadian coffee and doughnut shop. We don't "go for coffee". We "go to Timmy's".
**Half marks if you picked the smokes. At least you realized it was money, but a pack of smokes'll run you about $8-9 not $4.
Feel free to try again with your newfound knowledge.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Over the top?
Here's a recently pulled add for the Toronto Blue Jays, featuring famous slugger Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas.
It's been pulled because it was felt that people might misconstrue the kid getting whacked with a pillow as an act that actually hurt a child.
I'm left wondering if any of Canada's so called "regulators" were ever allowed to watch cartoons or Carol Burnett when they were kids.
It's a friggin' commercial! And the kid pops up from behind the bed GRINNING!
Sheesh.
It's been pulled because it was felt that people might misconstrue the kid getting whacked with a pillow as an act that actually hurt a child.
I'm left wondering if any of Canada's so called "regulators" were ever allowed to watch cartoons or Carol Burnett when they were kids.
It's a friggin' commercial! And the kid pops up from behind the bed GRINNING!
Sheesh.
She's from Ottawa, you know.
I'm normally the last guy to promote a music video.
But.
THIS is video gold. It's all over the web, but if you're one of the few who hasn't seen Alanis's send up of the ridiculous (and inexplicably popular - including a Grammy for best something) "My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas, it's worth the time.
Four minutes, nine seconds to see just how stupid the lyrics in current dance music are. I only wish I could play THIS version instead of the original the next time some 17 year old girl asks for it at a wedding.
And in case you aren't "up" on current dance tunes, yes those are the actual lyrics she's singing. The original is obviously faster, with lots of bass and such, but the lyrics are exactly the same.
I weep for the future, and obviously Alanis does too.
But.
THIS is video gold. It's all over the web, but if you're one of the few who hasn't seen Alanis's send up of the ridiculous (and inexplicably popular - including a Grammy for best something) "My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas, it's worth the time.
Four minutes, nine seconds to see just how stupid the lyrics in current dance music are. I only wish I could play THIS version instead of the original the next time some 17 year old girl asks for it at a wedding.
And in case you aren't "up" on current dance tunes, yes those are the actual lyrics she's singing. The original is obviously faster, with lots of bass and such, but the lyrics are exactly the same.
I weep for the future, and obviously Alanis does too.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Ah...Satire finds a home.
THIS page is where this belongs!
Not a big Jon Stewart watcher, but this bit really showed the Iran vs. 300 thing for what it really is. Silly.
Not a big Jon Stewart watcher, but this bit really showed the Iran vs. 300 thing for what it really is. Silly.
A somewhat more palatable view...
The post below this one might offend a Creationist, but this one'll just make you laugh.
If you are a Creationist, DON'T play this one.
I don't mean this post as an insult to anyone's beliefs. I just get a kick out of this guy.
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